Last week was my birthday i didnt celebrate it because no money at all, the only gift i got was from my girlfriend and of course you know the items.
4. Chew gum
she come manage buy 200 naira recharge card join, i dont know why some girls cannot give their guys a better gift and when e reach their turn they will be expecting Iphone 6s, well i dont blame them because they belief that we are the one to spend for them not the other way round, so i relaxed in my room watching blue film with my laptop in Aba, Abia State Nigeria.
I am Oziegbe, i school in Aba.
Next tomorrow is my girlfriend birthday and i dont have anything with me, how do i celebrate it? she has been disturbing me from day one that she want a party in China Town Along Aba/Owerri Road, and of course i promised her i will take her there, but now i nor even get garri to drink for house, na how i wan take carry her go outing, hmmmm i wish we can just jump the date, i put a call to my brothers and sisters everybody wey i know, but all i got is that month never end.
Hmmmmmm, maybe i go go steal oh, because if i nor celebrate this birthday na big fucckup oh, and me i love the girl and i nor want do anything wey go make her vex, i love her because she is cool, nice, hot (in bed) and clever, she sabi calculus well well and me i dull for maths right from childhood and also she be our VP for our department, so imagine the guy wey i dey blow when me and she they waka for road, dating VP for our department na big boy things na.
I was carried away watching blue film when somebody knock on my door, chai i dey hate am well well say i dey watch blue film person come knock wey e be say my dragon still stand between my leg, hmmm i pause the film and close the laptop, i use towel cover myself because i nor wear anything before, i cover my downside well well then i waka go open door,.
Me: na who be that?
Unknown: na me Joshua
i open the door.
Me: na wetin you dey find
abeg come out for environmental.
Me: you dey craze, na im make you wan break my door.
Joshua: na you dey mad, see as you increase the volume of film wey you they watch, abi you nor know say people they hear, since you nor get wetin you wan do this morning better comeout make we do clean up.
Me: get out joor.
I lock my door again, and he shouted from outside
“if you wan fucck no be pionner they back of you so, money wey you don use buy tissue paper take they clean up after you marstubate finish go don reach you fucck one girl.
“na how him know say i they marstubate”?
Copyright © 2016 by Akhigbe Oziegbe.
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