One time, I read Steve Harvey’s ‘Act like
a lady, Think like a Man’ and determined I
would ask Jack some of the pertinent
questions raised but I never got around to
doing it. Somewhere along the line, I’d
become really terrified of losing him that I
wallowed in silence instead of asking him
questions like, ‘what he really felt for me as
different from what he liked about me?’ The
questions seemed needy and I didn’t want to
appear to be that. Only problem was, that
was exactly what I was.
By the end of first semester, i was busy with
getting my IT placement, and Richard was
getting worse. Although his surgery had been
successful, he hadn’t fully recovered. His
parents spent a lot of money on his
treatment, they went to churches and we held
special prayers for him at the fellowship too.
I always had to cheer him up because his
illness was beginning to get the better of him.
I couldn’t dare bring up my relationship to
him because it reminded him of what he would
never do. Get into a love relationship with a
girl. He was just twenty-two but had barely
Richard had been born with an inherited
Glycogen storage disease which had been
misdiagnosed for a long time until it led to
Cirrhosis. He had grown up with so much
pain and limitations, it was difficult to be a
normal child. But despite it all, at twenty-
two, he was undergoing pre-degree to study
medicine and was determined to become a
Maybe it was his strong fighting spirit that
influenced me but like him I was determined
to never give up. People said love was painful
and indeed I was becoming familiar with
pain. The pain that came with sacrificing your
everything for someone who didn’t seem to
ever acknowledge or appreciate it in kind.
Sure, he had the sweet words to make you
feel loved but his actions seemed to be the
opposite. Just like Lai Mohammed and telling
the truth ran on parallel lines that was how
different Jack’s words were from his deeds.
Like the time I splurged thousands on him to
get him an expensive gift on his birthday but
I hadn’t received even a call on mine because
we were not on talking terms then. When we
eventually made up, he blamed it on me for
getting him riled.
Maybe all our problems were only in my
head, but i knew things were not right
between us, yet I couldn’t let go because I
was determined to have him love me back.
That determination became my prison.
This post has been seen 1332 times.