ADVENTURES OF XAGE written by Ogili Oche Jr (Xage)
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Lemme introduce you to my life first, i am the only son of my parents, i have an elder sister which i love terrorizing anytime she’s back from school. I am kind of spoilt but believe me not up to my friend, Pablo. My dad is working in a private firm while my mom has a supermarket making me the only one at home anytime they both go to their various work place . That is why i spent more time with my Guy, Pablo. Pablo is a bad genius especially when it comes to women. His dad is a business man while his mom owns a boutique. Pablo is really spoilt, his mom usually complain about his bad character to me, she doesn’t know that i am also learning from him. We both plan on traveling to UK for our university studies not minding that our mates are already getting admission into Nigerian universities. We got a year to stay at home before getting our own admission abroad so we have decided to flex am well well.
“Xage, Xage”! Pablo was trying to wake me up from my wonderful sleep, i knew that it was my mom that allowed him into my room because she was fond of him but i don’t know why he has decided to spoil this nice sleep.
“Guy, Kemi dey fetch water for the front of your compound” Pablo said at the same time slapping my boney chin. Choi, i quickly rose up like Lazarus immediately i heard that name “Kemi “. I have been chasing this girl for months now but she has been forming big girl even though it’s clear that she’s very local. It’s her body attributes that makes guys nono for her.
“Guy talk true joor”, i replied Pablo rubbing my eyes. “Dey there dey sleep like malu, no go run the parole wey i dey teach you for the past six months now” Pablo said leaving the room.
Native doctor no need tell me to get up and go meet her. As i got to the front of my compound, i saw her wearing a bum shot and one top that can reveal the “wonders and goodness of life”.
My dad made a tap outside our compound so that people around the neighborhood can come and fetch water anytime electricity distribution companies fail to do their job. I remember back then when i was still in secondary school, me and pablo will come and find babes when they come to fetch water in the night, we will lock the tap from inside and wait for them to ask us to open it, that is how we will start convo with them and you all know what happens after that. It was Pablo that came up with that idea which he called “Operation Open tap Open mouth”. There have not been light for the past two weeks now but you know that light no dey affect rich man. I could see Pablo already giving raps to one black and ugly girl, Choi, Pablo can deal with any kind of girl.
I went to meet Kemi as she was about to carry her water, not to let the men power down i decided to help her carry the round big bucket. “Can i help you with your bucket pretty? She paused first and examined me up and down with that her artificial eyelashes that can be used for “jangle over”. I did not blame her, i blame my skinny body it’s not like Pablo that have muscles everywhere even on his head sef. I chuckled a little bit like a boss and lifted the bucket of water with my hands, she shifted back to give see whether i was capable. As i was about to carry the bucket on my head, my leg hit a stone(may that stone have no peace) and the next thing was “Gbwaaah” i fell with the bucket of water. All eyes were on me, the next thing i heard was laughter from different corner. The one that pain me pass was when one small girl with two broken teeth came to my front and started showing to me the gateway to hell.
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