”Good evening” Stella said as soon as she
opened the door for us.
I asked if her father was in, she said he was.
We followed her to the Parlour and sat down.
The Landlord came out later.
We greeted him and told him why we had
He was a man of not too many words, I just
wondered why he was so calm about the way
his wife treated his children in his presence.
He asked for my account number and I gave it
to him. He said he would transfer N400,000 to
the account the next day.
We thanked him and went back to our
I wasn’t interested in moving any of our
properties until I confirmed that the money had
been paid into my account.
The following morning, I drove to the new
house in Surulere and inspected it properly. It
was better than our apartment in Ojo because
it had two bathrooms and two toilets. One of
the rooms had its own private bathroom and
It had a bathtub and the floor had tiles on
them. It also had two water tanks to service
the entire four flats.
All in all, it was an upgrade from the current
apartment and despite being N100,000 higher,
it was a good deal for me.
While still at the new apartment, a call came to
my phone. It was from Ghana. Chike my cousin
said he had returned to Nigeria for another
business. He asked for my account number
and said he would deposit my money into the
account that morning.
Great! I was going to have another big cash in
My cousin in Lagos called some minutes later
and said he had gotten a call from the
Landlord who said he had also paid in the
money into my account. I told him that I would
go to the bank to confirm.
It seemed that our old landlord was determined
to please his wife.
I was even getting excited of living in a new
Surulere was even more exciting than Ojo, the
only issue I had seen there was that when
someone lived at a place for long, he tend to
think that leaving that place was going
Two hours later, I drove to the diamond bank at
Apapa and checked my account.
N650, 000 had been deposited in two
My cousin had paid in N250, 000 as well.
I called my cousin In Idumota and asked him
to tell the Landlord that I had seen the money.
I also told him that I was going to pay for the
He asked how much money he would
I told him that I needed to pay for everything
and know how much the total bill was before I
could tell him what I wanted him to pay.
On my way out of the bank, I called Ifeanyi at
the wharf. He said that he had found out who
the Chukwudi was. According to him, he
needed to confirm some things before calling
me for updates.
I slowly drove towards home and stopped at
There was a small park where I used to see
I approached the park and swerved my vehicle
opposite one of the trucks. One of the divers
had started to shout at me not to park my
”Excuse me sir, I need a truck to carry some
loads for me” I had said.
He asked what it was and I told him. I also
told him that I needed the truck the next day or
two. He asked a few more questions and gave
me his number.
When I got to the house, I packed outside and
walked to the call girl.
”I am moving to Surulere very soon” I had said.
She asked why but got no reasons from me. I
told her to be ready to visit Surulere anytime I
Back in my apartment, I called Johnson in
Germany. He was going to ship the bus the
next day. it meant that the bill of lading would
be out in less than a week.
Everything was still working according to plan.
”We may start moving out of this place in two
days” I said to Andrew my cousin as soon as
I told him that the place at Surulere had been
properly secured and paid for. However it still
needed to be washed which I told him that I
would try to do the next day.
He didn’t know what to say. CYON was the real
deal for him.
I wondered why Religious fanatism had taken
over my people. Was I just the only person who
was bold enough to tell people that I didn’t fully
agree with everything in the Bible?
I called Maria afterwards. She was at a noisy
place. It was either a bar or just a hotel where
live band were going on. She wanted me to
come to a place called Adeniran Ogunsanya in
Surulere but I told her that I wasn’t in that
vicinity. I told her that I would call her the next
day, then I hung up.
I called Daisy. She was missing me and said
that I had changed. She was right. I had
changed and it was difficult to tell her why.
”I found a new place in Surulere” I had told
Daisy. She didn’t say anything. She just kept
quiet for many seconds, then she cut the line
off. She didn’t pick my second and the third
calls. I understood her plight. She wanted me
close but it seemed that it was slipping away
I almost wept for her but tigers were not
created to cry. They were made to make other
I called Irene. She was quick to tell me that
she wanted to come to my house.
”I am leaving the house in a few days. I found
a new place in Surulere” I had said to her.
I promised to invite her there as soon as I
I called Amaka. I couldn’t help but call her. I
told her that I was leaving the house and
moving to Surulere. She was as expected,
disappointed but said she would visit me
wherever I went.
I called the fuel girl. She said I had forgotten
her but I told her that I was relocating to
Surulere. An area I told her, was very close to
I called Liz in Aba. She had missed me so
much and wanted to come to Lagos. I
promised her that she would come to Lagos
and I meant it.
I called Zainab and told her that I would move
to Surulere in a few days time. She was
excited. She said it was closer to her school,
which meant she could always come to the
place whenever the school became boring.
Finally I called Stella. She didn’t pick the call
but she returned the call a few minutes later.
”are you still mad at me baby” I had said.
She didn’t answer that question, she just
wished me good luck when I told her that I was
moving in a few days.
After making sure that the whole of my
concubines had been covered, I decided to
make myself angry.
I called Mr Chukwudi.
”This poor man, I have told you that we don’t
have any business until after two weeks” he
He was drunk, I could tell that from the way he
I guessed people would ask me to give him the
two weeks he had said if I had confided in
friends but the truth was that the moment I
stopped perceiving danger and stopped being
suspicious, My life was finished.
The inconsistency in his sentences were too
obvious but right inside my mind, I had decided
that it was all a scam.
I was going to hunt Mr Chukwudi down. One
unfortunate issue about Lagos was that people
who lived and worked there hardly left the city
even if they got sacked from their various work
places and even if their business capital
finished. I would use that against Chukwudi.
Lagos was one big city that swallowed every
resident and hide them from the useless and
silly public notions of ” you don’t have money”.
But of course Lagos as a city was still a slum
compared to the places I had lived across
Lagos had a huge potential of becoming a very
attractive city in the future but the problem
was the residents. Over 98% of the inhabitants
of Lagos were Nigerians whose mindsets would
make an average white man cry.
Nigerians would drink water and threw the
plastic out of a vehicle window and saw
nothing wrong with that.
Nigerians would jump into a moving vehicle
and believed they were smart or fast.
Nigerians would convince you to give them your
money for business only to turn around and tell
you that you have been scammed.
There were a lot of things which were not
normal with us back home in Nigeria and the
problem was that we didn’t know. We were all
confused down here.
You had no reason whatsoever to throw water
at someone who had come to your place unless
he or she was a thief.
You had no reason to shout at a man just for
being with your adult daughter, you were
supposed to talk to your daughter first.
You had no reason whatsoever to expect mercy
from a man whom you stole his phone which
contained all his contacts.
You had no reason to shout at someone who
had given you money to do something for him
or her, the least you could do as a genuine
person was to update them on how things were
But Mr Chukwudi from Onitsha was a Nigerian,
just like many of us. He believed that swindling
people was the same as being clever. Just get
the money from him or her, run back to your
village, buy a big car and take a Chieftaincy
title. Take that Onwa title with another
person’s money. The whole town would
Run to the Church and give them money, They
would accept it on behalf of God even if they
knew what you did to get that Money.
Noooo, fellow Nigerians. Ozoigbondu said no.
If you propose a business deal with me and I
gave you my money, I have the right to ask for
updates. If you stole the money, I would punish
you if I got the chance.
For the ladies who thought that there were big
sins and small sins, I tell you this.. I dish out
my punishment according to your sins.
I behave like a lawyer, the difference was that I
write my own laws.
If I trust you, I expect trust back. If you betray
me, you should also expect betrayal back. If
you betray me and expect forgiveness, are you
If we must correct the mistakes of our people,
we must abide by the rules.
I can punish you by taking your money if I felt
that the money would be used to correct the
mistakes you made. Madam Grace’s money
was used to take care of my running with
Jennifer all over Portugal. Since she was
chasing me, she was supposed to pay for the
running. The left over was used on Jennifer, a
girl she brought from Africa.
My drug deals was business. I bought them
because people demanded for them.
I only recovered my money from Chinelo in
Accra, I didn’t take more than mine.
I only returned the dirty water which Madam
Landlord had given me.
The only thing that made me feel so guilty was
the Osu issue with Daisy. I believed I was
supposed to go against the silly culture but
despite everything I was doing, I was only 26.
There were things I couldn’t change.
I never stole anybody’s money and I would
never do that.
I am principled. I am not sentimental. But just
like I said, if you kill my dog, you better hide
Mr Chukwudi would pay unless he disappeared,
but I would try to hunt him down if he made
the mistake of thinking that my money was for
” Anybody can become angry – that is
easy, but to be angry with the right
person and to the right degree and at
the right time and for the right
purpose, and in the right way – that is
not within everybody’s power and is
”Chukwudi I am not a poor man, I told you my
name. If I call you, you need to listen to why I
did before shouting” I said.
He cursed me in Igbo language and cut the
phone call off.
I knew the judges would think that I should
have Atleast given him his two weeks but trust
me, I knew my instincts in and out. If I didn’t
call him before two weeks, he would either
extend the date or give me another silly
excuse. However, calling him at two or three
days intervals was supposed to remind him
that I meant business and kept him on his
The anger I wanted had been given to me.
Anger that pushed me to the wall..
Anger that made me plot for revenge. Yes,
revenge, that’s the name I called my negative
way of returning misdeeds.
Anger! I love being angry, not at you or
anybody else, but at myself. There were some
mistakes I didn’t expect from myself and
whenever I made them, I got angry. I believed I
was supposed to Atleast know where Chukwudi
lived. I should have openly demanded to know
where he lived and if he had refused, the deal
would have been called off.
The following day, I went to Surulere to wash
the new house. Due to the anger in my system,
I didn’t hire anybody. I just bought two buckets,
a mop, Omo detergent and a towel.
While washing the entire place, my mind
wondered all over Lagos. I wondered where
Chukwudi could be, what he was doing with my
money. Why I was so concerned about a mere
two hundred thousand and why I must get the
Swindling must be discouraged and someone
had to start the war.
Maria called me…
”Where are you boo” she had said.
What was boo? I never heard of that but
whatever it was must wait first. It was Maria. I
needed to pay attention to her. I believed that
there was a hidden interest in every woman’s
call and most of the time, they concealed it
until they had you inside their net. By every
woman, I meant even my mother and sisters.
”I am in Surulere, somewhere called Adetola
street” I had said.
I gave her the address and asked her to come
there. She asked me to keep some drinks for
her. I agreed. I was sure she won’t ask for it
when she saw that I was washing a new
She found the place later and came with her
partner, the mute cockroach.
They met me washing the house and asked
what it was for.
”This is my new apartment, since you told me
that you lived in Surulere, I decided to find a
house here and pay for it instantly” I had told
Maria. She laughed at the joke.
She liked the place so much and asked who
was going to live with me… I told her that it
was just my cousin Andrew and no one else.
She helped me to pour water on the ground
while I mopped. The mutter didn’t do anything.
I guessed she was even angry that Maria was
helping out. I thought that she may just be
jealous or she may be a lesbian, probably with
Maria. I was going to watch out for trails.
Ifeanyi called. He said he had every
information I needed about Chukwudi. He had
even found his best friend. It was a great news
I promised to call him back later.
”Who are you Maria, tell me about yourself” I
asked from no where.
She said she had returned from Napoli in Italy
after six years. As soon as she said Napoli, I
didn’t need to ask her what she did there.
There was no other work except Prostitution
and drug trafficking.
She said she would return back there after one
I told her that I had been to Germany.
After cleaning the house, we drove with her car
to a restaurant and ate. I paid for the whole
food which amounted to over N5000. The
mutter lightened up since she discovered that I
wasn’t there to take her friend’s money.
I called my cousin and told him that I wasn’t
returning that night. Maria had planned that we
visit a Joint at Adeniran Ogunsanya where live
band makossa were played.
My presence had relegated the mutter to the
back seat while I occupied the front seat with
Maria the Driver.
We enjoyed ourselves throughout the night until
about 3am when we left to Maria’s apartment.
It was a two bedroom apartment, fully
furnished with Air conditioner and floor tiles.
She also had a large flat screen Samsung
We sat and talked in the sitting room while
The mutter took her bath and occupied one of
later Maria took her bath too and so was I.
After my shower, I wore only the boxer and
relaxed on the single long sofa in the sitting
room. Less than ten minutes later, Maria came
out of the room and took my hand.
I slowly got up and followed her to her room,
leaving my trousers and shirt behind.
”It was only a fool who spits out sugar that had
been put into his or her mouth”
A kiss was planted on my lips as soon as we
got inside the room.
”What did you do in Germany, Austin” she
asked when our mouths separated.
”Work. I worked at a restaurant” I said.
”Did you mean to tell me that you didn’t sell
drugs like every other guy” she asked.
I shook my head.
”I didn’t see anybody to teach me how to deal
on drugs” I sad.
”How on earth did you buy a New BMW if you
didn’t sell drugs” she said and smiled.
”God, it was God’s hand work” I said.
They said God was the answer to every
problem. It was then that I knew what it
She didn’t believe me but who cared. I didn’t
know who she was, we just met at a beach. If
she was going to hear about drugs from me,
then we needed to get more involved first.
She was wearing a transparent night gown
which revealed her Unclad buttocks. She was
also wearing a leg bangle which I hated in girls
but not that night.
She grabbed my dicck and squeezed it. It was
already getting up when I sensed she wore
nothing under the gown.
She smiled and squeezed it some more while
my idle hand moved to her chest and
squeezed her two balls at the same time.
There was no Bra too.
Somehow I decided to take over. Most women
wanted their men to take over every action.
I knew Maria thought she was a big girl, bigger
than Ozoigbondu, afterall she had a Rav4 SUV
while I was on a car. The odds were on her
because she was a woman.
A woman who bought a bicycle by herself
should be naturally considered more
hardworking than a man who bought a
motorcycle. That was how our world worked.
”How did you go to Europe Maria” I asked while
squeezing her soft buttocks.
”My madam took us to Mali and we flew from
there to Paris, then we used train to Italy” she
Her Madam? It could be madam Grace or any
other madam but I didn’t want to go further.
Those people were like cults. If she found out I
knew or had something to do with Madam
Grace and the missing Jennifer, I could be in
I bent down and carried her frail body up as
she crossed her hands around my neck to
We kissed in that position before I moved three
steps forward and placed her slowly on the
Damn, I left my cloths in the sitting room and
my wallet which contained the condom was
inside the trousers.
”Excuse me” I said and walked back to the
”What are you doing with my trouser, miss ”No
talking’ ” I asked.
She threw them quickly back on the chair and
stood facing me…
The mutter was searching my cloths.
”I, I wanted to keep it inside for you”. She
Maria had heard us talking and came out of
I grabbed the trouser and started to wear it.
”What is going on here” Maria asked.
I told her to ask her partner.
”What is the Problem Juliet” she asked.
Really’ her name was Juliet. Such a nice name
for a non talking thief.
Juliet kept quiet.
”She was searching my cloths when I came in
here and I am leaving this place right away” I
said to Maria.
”I suppose it was you people’s plan all through.
I thought you were a big girl” I said to Maria as
I locked my belt and grabbed my shirt.
”Wait here, what do you mean it was our plan?
You think I sent her to search your pocket” she
said as she moved forward and gave Juliet a
”So it was you who stole Tony’s watch here
Juliet?” she said.
She said Juliet had stolen her visitor’s watch
and denied it.
Maria was convincingly angry and said that
Juliet was leaving the house first thing in the
”I brought you here to brush you up and send
you to Europe only to insult me in front of my
guest, see your life, you are going back to
Benin Tomorrow” she said.
I had finished wearing my cloths and was
watching the bashing and slapping she was
”Enough! Stop slapping her. I don’t like it. you
can send her to Europe if you want, its not my
business. You just have to make her stop
embarrassing you”. I said.
Juliet went back inside her room with red face
and tears in her eyes. It touched me somehow,
It made me realise that she may not be in
control of herself.
It also occurred to me that some of the People
I had p,unished for doing wrong things to me
may not have been in total control of
Chinelo, Madam Landlady etc. These people
may have been possessed by evil spirits which
they couldn’t control or subdue.
The World was sick and the people who were
supposed to help out were thieves and
” “Let me never fall into the vulgar
mistake of dreaming that I am
persecuted whenever I am
”Please don’t go, I beg you”. Maria turned and
said to me.
At that moment, it dawned on me that non of
my friends or relatives knew exactly where I
I had just made another mistake of following
someone to her house without telling my
I was going to continue the risk until daybreak.
Maria held my hand and pulled me slowly back
to the room. We sat on the bed and talked until
she was able to tease me back into removing
My phone and my wallet was among the things
Juliet could have stolen. There wasn’t much
money with me that night, just a little over
N10,000 left but my phone, I wouldn’t forgive
anybody who stole my phone. My phone was
my lifeline. I already had Chukwudi to deal
with, I needed no other distraction.
”Thanks for understanding me” Maria said as
she pulled my Trousers down and squeezed my
The usual sexuall smile had returned to her
I got up and removed my entire clothes except
the boxers. Maria had laid down on the bed
with her back. One of her legs was raised up
and bent on the bed.
I pulled the gown up to her waistline and
slipped two fingers into her well shaven
She moaned softly as I pushed the fingers in
and out of her. She spread her hands wide in
Few moments later, her cunnt became wet and
slippery. She had climaxed once and was
begging me to fvcck her.
I stood up and pulled down my boxers in one
fast swoop. I grabbed the wallet on the table
and brought out a condom.
”I don’t use Gold circle condoms” Maria said
from the bed.
She got up quickly and headed for her bag. The
night gown had covered the cunnt I was
looking at a few seconds ago.
It seemed like taking a biscuit away from a two
year old kid but I endured it.
Thirty seconds later, she brought out a Durex
condom and opened one. I walked like a goat
to her and she slipped it perfectly on my dicck,
then she bent down and pulled off the entire
Her two balls dangled like bats hanging head-
down on a tree branch.
I pushed her back down on the bed and slowly
The old missionary style never disappointed as
I slipped my dicck inside of her and started
pumping. She was an expert.
Her waist vibrated in rhythm with my thrust
and sent sensational pleasure waves to my
Some minutes later, she turned me around and
mounted. She pumped and vibrated her waist
until I couldn’t hold back the sperms any
longer. I busted out the thick liquids into the
rubber and collapsed under her. She smiled as
she climbed down and tore some tissue paper
to remove the used condom.
I laid on the bed beside Maria and tickled her
Tips. She was also hovering her hand all over
my body until my dicck woke up once more.
”one more condom” I said. She smiled and
jumped up to her bag.
The second rounds was always better. It
simply meant more time since it took the
sperm longer period of time to come out.
I turned Maria face down on the bed and
mounted her from behind. Her slightly
protruded buttocks made the cunnt to be
visible from behind even while she laid flat on
the bed. Still I put a pillow under her to bring
the buttocks even higher.
The cunnt opened up as I slightly spread her
In one sweet swoop, my dicck entered inside
her and started moving in and out slowly.
There was no need to rush anything since it
was apparent that she enjoyed it.
”Do it harder baby” I heard her say. It was
time to increase the tempo and that was what I
”Ooh Fvck me baby” she said over and over
again as she climaxed and climaxed the
second time before I came.
I pulled out my dicck from her and caressed
the entrance of her cunnt slowly with my hand.
She felt good and relaxed after several
I got up and removed the condom from my
dicck, kept it on the floor and moved back to
the bed alongside her.
She came close and perched on my chest as
we touched some sensitive parts of our bodies
until the sleep came.
We woke up around 9am and went to the
sitting room. Julie had already packed her bag
and was waiting for transport money back to
”Maria listen, I don’t know what you promised
this girl but if you wanted to help her, you can
still do it. I don’t need to be feeling guilty of
being the reason why you sent her home” I
”I am going back to Benin, just give me money
for transport” Julie countered.
Maria tried to talk her down but she had
decided to go long before I even met them.
She wasn’t happy all along and I wondered
why. Perhaps she didn’t like the kind of life
Maria lived. She must have seen numerous
men in their apartment and figured out that it
was only a matter of time before her life turned
into that. She might even have been forced to
sleep with a man against her wish.
I guessed she was looking for money to run
away but that didn’t explain the missing watch.
I didn’t want to get too involved with them
anyway, therefore I just waved the thoughts
and asked Maria to drive me back to my new
house where I left my car.
Sometime after 10am, Ifeanyi called me.
Chukwudi had been spotted at the wharf.
”I want you to approach him slowly. Greet him
and tell him that you were looking for a
clearing agent who could clear your brother’s
Mitsubishi bus coming in from Germany. He
will definitely tell you that he is an agent. Ask
him how much it would cost and get back to
me” I had told Ifeanyi.
He called me back later and gave me updates.
As expected, Chukwudi had jumped into the
deal and said since it was a loaded bus, it
would cost N220,000. Perfect!.
Ifeanyi had collected Chukwudi’s two phone
numbers. One of them was the same with the
one Chukwudi gave me.
Chukwudi had given me one number and gave
Ifeanyi two. The criminal characteristics
I asked Ifeanyi to come to Surulere. There was
a Chicken restaurant at the end of Adetola
street, we met there an hour later.
He told me everything that transpired between
him and Chukwudi. Chukwudi had promised to
clear the car in two days and even said that he
could start work with his own money as soon
as the bill of lading got to him.
I expected that. I was actually banking on that
because I had hoped to persuade him to clear
the vehicle with his own money and get the
refund at the point of collection.
I called Johnson who said the car had been
shipped and the bill of loading would be in
Nigeria by the following tuesday which was
three working days away.
I gave Ifeanyi another N2000. His money
remained N13,000 although he didn’t see it that
way but it was left for me to teach him
” We must expect reverses, even
defeats. They are sent to teach us
wisdom and prudence, to call forth
greater energies, and to prevent our
falling into greater disasters.”
I called Maria and asked what happened with
Juliet. She said that Juliet had left. According
to her, she had pleaded with her to stay but it
all seemed she had made up her mind long
ago. ”Maybe she didn’t like the kind of
companies you keep” I had said to her. ”It is
not her business how I live my life” she had
fired back. She was alone in the house. I
decided to go to her. The other thing to do for
the day was to go and start moving my
properties to the new apartment but I wanted
my cousin to be around when that job would be
done. I wanted to give him a massive sense of
belonging since I didn’t plan to take money
from him. My plan was to ask him to pay
N200,000 as his part of the apartment and
immediately give it back to him as loan. That
way, he would take care of the money which I
was not going to ask him to return. I wanted
him to see things in a way that he owed me
money but we both owned the apartment. I
needed him to come out of his shelves and
start inviting women to the house for himself. I
didn’t like the way he was caged with the
christian doctrine. He was among the type that
believed it was a sin to look at a beautiful
woman lustfully. That doctrine from Catholic
Church that tied us around the neck like a
rope. Our people needed to emancipate
themselves from mental slavery. Our mindset
were altered and we didn’t even know how it
happened. I got to Maria’s place and parked
behind her Toyota Rav4. She was alone as she
had said. We sat together on the single long
sofa and watched the movie ”GodFather”. She
enjoyed my company and told me about the
drug business in Napoli. He named a man
whom she said was the biggest Nigerian dealer
in Napoli. She had her number. His name was
Ozoemena, he was from Enugu state. I asked
her to give me the phone number and she
did….. I told her I was going to start drug
business when I returned to Europe. She said
she would be visiting me in Germany when she
returned too. I wondered if Maria was one of
the drug birds. The birds were the people who
transported drugs from one city or country to
another. Most of the time, they swallowed the
stuff and removed it from their anus at the
delivery point. A lot of Nigerians did that all
over the World. Maria knew a lot about cocaine,
even more than I did. My line of drug business
was just marijuana which was not a class ‘A’
drug. We talked for hours until the evening
when we had sexx again. I left her place and
told her that I was going to start packing to the
new place tomorrow. She told me to call her
when I was ready. She wanted to help. The
following day was a friday. I told my cousin
that we were moving that very day. He wanted
to go to Idumota but I told him to wait first. I
called the truck driver in Mile 2 and told him to
come. I waited for him until about 45 minutes
later. He had come with two labourers as I
instructed. They went up and started to
dismantle everything in the house. Less than
two hours later, the house had been stripped
Unclad. I was downstairs when they brought
down the last cooking pot. The Landlady was
out on the Veranda, gloating as if she had won
a war. She had won a war indeed, she had
made her husband act. Stella was there too
but the look on her face told me that she
wasn’t happy. I called Daisy and told her that I
was packing already. She came as we were
about to leave. She was almost in tears but I
assured her that Surulere was still in Lagos
and that she can always come there. Issa the
gateman, was uncomfortable. I believed he
thought I was going to take his phone. ”Issa,
take care of yourself and call me whenever you
want to talk to me” I had said to him. We left
Ojo area that afternoon and kissed the land
goodbye. ” “I do not say goodbye. I believe
that’s one of the bullshitiest words ever
invented. It’s not like you’re given the choice to
say bad-bye, or awful-bye, or couldn’t-care-
less-about-you- bye. Everytime you leave, it’s
supposed to be a good one.””
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