Schon Gebostag” (happy birthday), the fat
I kept quiet for a while before I recalled that
it was my birthday. A fake birthday. I had met
the lady at the entrance of the shopping mall
in the morning and while we were chatting, I
had lied to her that it was my birthday. I had
also told her that I was going to stay all day
at the park.
*What was she doing out here on the park
alone?. It was getting to evening. Could it be
because I told her I was going to be at the
park?. It was left for me to found out*
I smiled and nodded at her while saying
”danke” at the same time.
She was sitting on a wooden chair fixed on
the ground. It was an isolated Area, about
100metres from the major route in the park.
I sat down beside her and we got talking.
Her name was Irene. Her forefathers had
migrated from Czech Republic in the early
1900s. There were farmers, but mostly
dealing on cattles. She pointed to a direction
across the lake and said their settlement was
over there. It was a ten minutes walk.
On my part, since I was obligated to make
some kind of introductions as well,
I was Solomon Ebot from Cameroun but I had
a different story of how and why I came to
This time, my father was a key political figure
in Cameroun. The Paul Biya led government
were about to murder our family before we
got the news and fled to Europe.
*I bet she didn’t know who Biya was but that
was her problem*
When we ran out of things to talk about, she
offered to show me around their farm
settlement and I agreed.
I followed her around the lake in the park
and some minutes later, we got to the farm.
It was sitting on a large Area of land, fenced
with metal poles and barbed wires. Cows
were grazing in the out field. Trees of apples
were seen standing at intervals of about 20
A one story cabin house was at the north
end of the settlement. We headed to the
cabin. It was a nice house. The dog growled at
me as we approached. Irene said something
and it kept quiet. We got to the sitting room
where she motioned me to take a seat. A
picture of a man holding a riffle gun hung on
the wall of the sitting room.
An old woman got out and looked at me
curiously. She said something to me in
German or Czech but I couldn’t figure out
what it was, so I nodded like a lizard and kept
quiet. She went back inside and came out with
a baseball bat. She was staggering towards
me with her tired eyes fixed on me. I stood
up, ready to bolt out through the door before
she hit me with the bat.
It was when she heard Irene’s voice inside
coming out of the kitchen that she knew I was
not a burglar.
Irene brought two cups of black coffee. We
sat down and drank for some minutes and
when we finished, I asked her to show me
around the farm instead of sitting in one
We walked past some trees and got to the
shelter where the cows sleep during the
snow or winter. There was a separate
shelter which was a kind of store where
some equipments were kept.
” Are you married in Africa” Irene asked out
” No, why” I said pretending not to be
surprised by the sudden question.
She said she was looking for a boyfriend and
that she liked Africans. According to her, she
had dated one African from the camp before
but the guy left when he was posted and
never came back there.
*”why would anybody come back to this cow
dump” I said in Abiriba and smiled *
She smiled too.
I told her that every black man was not the
same and that one day, she would find
someone who would like to stay with her.
Her father had died two years before, leaving
the farm for her and her grand mom.
Her mother lived in Berlin and cared nothing
about the farm.
*Ironically, it was a perfect opportunity for
me or any camper to start work, even
eventually get married to this lonely lady and
possibly inherit the farm but there was some
First when you got posted out of the city, the
Germans never expect you to come back
there. If they see you there, you will be
paying some ‘straffe’ (penalty or
Secondly, this lady was fat and I don’t really
date fat women.
Finally, I had always loved to live in the heart
of the capital cities (a trait that took me to
Paris, Amsterdam, Lisbon, Vienna, Bratislava,
Stockholm, Madrid and Roma) not some East
German border town of less than 10,000
inhabitants. No way.*
We chatted some more and when we got
inside the store room, the elephant grabbed
my shirt and started a kiss.
*I nearly jumped off and ran away but I
decided to see the outcome*
I feigned surprise initially but when the kiss
tasted good, I responded. We kissed for less
than a minute before her hand grabbed my
*take it easy bulldog, no wonder there was
no man in your life*
There was no pleasure whatsoever coming
from her but I had a pre-made smile for
Some minutes later, my jean had been pulled
down to my ankles, my JT had been covered
with a condom and her gown had been raised
while she was bent down holding the edges of
I humped in from behind, struggling to get
hold of her big round waist. Surprisingly, this
big lady moved her ar.se in and out with such
a fast pace.
I even started to enjoy the ride. I fvcked her
for several minutes but due to the fact that I
had switched off my mind from the event, it
was difficult to release.
When she got tired of fvcking, I sat on the
chair and asked her to sit on top of my JT
with her cunnt. She did and continued moving
side ways. It was a better position since the
entire length of my Joystick entered inside
We later climaxed together and wore our
clothes. I wrapped the used condom and
slipped it into my pocket. We left and went
back to the cabin. She made more black
coffee, no sugar and no milk.
When we finished drinking, she walked me
back to the park and we parted ways after
collecting her phone number.
I promised to come again as soon as
possible, a promise I knew I was not going to
When I got back to the camp, there was a
A new lady had arrived in camp, two
Nigerians had been arguing who should date
her. Somehow, the argument had escalated
into a fight.
When they finished telling me the story, I
asked where the girl was. Someone pointed
me to her direction, I thanked him and
zoomed off to meet Adaeze.
A Nigerian girl had finally showed up in
Eisenhuttenstadt asylum Camp. Allelujah…
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